True Strength, true love

Hey beauties,

Okay y'all, here we go, our first guest blog post. This woman is very near and dear to our hearts, this woman being my mommy. This is Leigh by the way. October is breast cancer awareness month so we have this amazing lady sharing her journey with us today.

Not being a writer, I kind of freaked when Leigh asked me to write a blog about my escapades with breast cancer. She said, "Just write, mom", and I tried to explain that it wasn't that easy for me. I'm not a writer like she is. But here's me giving it a shot.

I went in for a mammogram almost five years ago, and they saw something. So I went in for another one. And then everything changed. During the diagnosis process, I only let the "what ifs" take hold one time. The words "I have cancer" just didn't want to leave my lips. I had never been so shaken before, it was like my world had stopped. Thank God, literally, my husband Scott was with me. He picked up where I left off, asking the appropriate questions and listening to the doctor. All that is usually my job, I'm the nurse. But I just couldn't seem to focus. Other than that one incident, I knew I could and would beat this disease. So from then on, I focused on enjoying every minute of every day. I've always been a silver lining kind of person but this went deeper, like each day truly became a gift. Nothing is promised. I made a deal with myself that I would be cancer free and love the life I was given.

On the day of my surgery, to remove the tumor from my right breast, my parents and my daughters were there. They were all camped out in the waiting room, trying to make me laugh. Trying to make things light hearted and as normal as possible. Scott walked me back when my name was called and when I looked up at him, he had tears in his eyes. We'd both been so strong over the last week or so, staying up beat and not letting bad thoughts take hold. His sudden wave of emotion surprised me so much that I snapped at him. I told him, "NO! Only positive thoughts. We will get through this together". It was the only time I saw any real fear in his eyes and to this day I still feel guilty for snapping at him. The surgery went well, my doctor was confident that they got it all, clear margins all the way around. After it was over, they took me home. They stayed around the house, piled on couches and the guest bed. They got me a burger and fries from my favorite place.

A few weeks after my surgery my husband and I moved to California for his work. The move itself was what motivated me to have my mammogram, so it was a blessing in disguise. We were driving from Dallas, Texas to Los Gatos, California, and I decided that I could drive my own car. I was not going to ask for help. That was a huge mistake, I have no idea how we made it. I was still so sore from my surgery and holding my arms on the steering wheel was excruciating.

Once we arrived in Los Gatos, I met my guardian angel, my neighbor Lynne. She was amazing and made the move away from my family and friends bearable The first day we met she brought me flowers and we spent the entire afternoon day-drinking red wine. I fell in love almost immediately. Lynne had lost her best friend to breast cancer and was more support than I knew I'd need. One memory from those first few weeks of friendship stands out in my mind. I'd always had really long hair, and a few days before my first round of chemo I cut it really short. Lynne and I had brunch that day. She made me laugh while we tried on hats, I think I laughed and cried more that day than any other. Nothing like having your friend, who's from the United Kingdom, help you with hat etiquette. She will never know the depths of what she means to me. We are still close, we talk all the time. And even though she and her husband moved back to the UK, we try to see each other as often as possible. We are "Thelma and Louise"... she really does call me Thelma.

Scott, me, Lynne and her husband Steve

We had family and friends visit frequently while we were living in California, they all helped my husband keep me busy and distracted. Lauren, my youngest daughter and her husband came right after the first chemo treatment. She's a nurse also and it was really hard on her to be away from me during my treatment. She had just gotten engaged, and we tried to tour some wineries. I wanted to be the mother of the bride, I wanted to be energetic and tried to be up beat. But I was so tired. My oldest, Leigh, was pregnant with her first child. As some of you may know, Leigh hates to fly. She has to take medication and she still barely makes it one the plane. Her OB/GYN wouldn't let her fly, it would have caused too much stress on her and the baby. I didn't get to see her until after the chemo was finished. But she would send me videos of the baby doing somersaults in utero.

Leigh sent me this before my first chemo treatment

I missed my girls so much but knew it was better for me to be away so they didn't have to see the day to day issued that came with the treatments. I am their mother, I wanted to keep them sheltered from the worst of it.

One major side effect, of course, was losing my hair. It was coming out in handfuls, I was officially going bald. So, I grabbed Scott's electric razor and talked him into shaving my head. At first he was pretty timid and nervous, and I was an emotional mess. But we face-timed the girls and my parents. I'm sure the sight of Scott with a razor to my head was pretty funny. At one point he mentioned a Mohawk. We laughed through our tears and I think I fell in love with him a little more that day. IT turned into a wonderful memory, and I still get choked up thinking about it.

Scott and I on the California Coast

I had some issues with the chemo treatments. I was having really bad side effects, and they wanted to postpone my last round to give my body a chance to recover a little. I basically said, "HELL NO". My grandbaby was due any day and I was going to be there when she was born, no matter what. Thank goodness she waited for me, it was such a beautiful day. Lauren and I were able to be with Leigh and her husband for the birth. I was there to watch my baby have her baby. There is literally nothing like it, nothing I can compare it to.

My grandbaby and I when she was two weeks old

My five year mark is coming up in early March and I'm really looking forward to crossing that milestone. I'll be celebrating from February to the middle of September, my diagnosis to the end of radiation. One of the things that stands out about the time I was going through chemo, and then radiation, was how I could actually feel the power of the prayers being said for me. It was amazing, It kept me upright when I was so tired that walking down the stairs was too much. It may seem an odd thing but just the year prior, I ran a half marathon, so I wasn't in bad shape. But I would have to stop halfway down just to rest. The prayers kept me going. I'm still awed by the feeling. Cancer changed me. It changed my body, my skin, hair, eyebrows...so much on the exterior but most of the change has been on the inside. I really do appreciate my gifts, my loved ones. I cherish my friendships and can't wait to see what each new day brings. I'm happy. I don't know if I would feel this about my life without the cancer diagnosis.

My tattoo

Being away from my mom while she was going through breast cancer treatment was torture. It was horrible. I wanted to be there, I felt like I needed to be there. My step dad is a saint in my eyes, he's a hero. He was there when we couldn't be, day in and day out. Keeping her strong, holding her. But I want to take a minute here to thank someone else. Mom told me about her friend Lynne, I face timed when they were together. Lynne watched my daughter dance in my stomach while she held my mothers hand. She made her laugh and she went with her to try on hats and wigs. She'll never know the amount of love my sister and I have for her. It's not something that can be measured. Lynne was there for my daughters first birthday, she sends gifts and cards. She's part of our family. That's the thing with women though, isn't. We see a need, we see a kindred spirit and we dive right in. We love and we support and lift up. That's what true love is, true friendship. I am surrounded by amazing women, I've been taught by the best. The examples set for me...I can never thank these ladies enough.

Cheers,
Leigh and Christie